Wednesday, May 21, 2008

You Heard It Here First!

Lately people have been discussing whom Obama will pick as his running mate. One thing is certain: with the Democrats' Senate majority so thin, no way will Obama pick a sitting senator. Do the math. So who does that leave?

The Short List

Wesley Clark
pros - military dood helps neutralize the 'security gap.'
cons - creepy smile on tv, won't necessary deliver a state

Barbara Boxer
pros - actual San Francisco liberal makes Obama look mainstream
cons - actual San Francisco liberal makes Obama look mainstream

Al Gore
pros - Nobel laureate, Oscar™, years of experience
cons - difficult to convince to run for thankless job

Madeline Albright
pros - beloved Clinton era figure whose initials aren't HRC
cons - born in Prague. Crypto Jew. Almost as old as McCain

Ann Richards
pros - neutralizes gender gap, might carry Texas
cons - died two years ago

Charlie Rangel
pros - decades of experience, Korean War Hero neutralizes McCain advantage
cons - two black guys on one ticket?

Tammy Baldwin
pros - voted against Iraq war, voted to impeach Cheney
cons - gaii

Now that I have exhausted all the options, I am ready to announce the winner. Your next vice president will be:

Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius!!
She will completely neutralize the disgruntled Hillary Clinton voting bloc! Time Magazine named her one of the top 5 governors! She's a Catholic from the middle of the country! I, for one, welcome our new Sebelian overlordess!


notwatchingtelevision said...

I want him to choose Bill Bradley: brilliant; knows how Washington works and has been pointing out how broken the system is for some time; endorsed Obama early; understands the benefits of teamwork, which an Obama administration is going to need if real change is going to come; a Boomer sports hero who can be a great spokesman for the important teamship roles that will be required of the citizenry; plus we could have photo ops of b-ball pick up games instead of all those golf course shots for a change.
Sparkle Plenty

r@d@r said...

barbara boxer is a liberal?

Anonymous said...

Is death really a "con" for this office?

Anonymous said...

One word: Oprah

mdhatter said...

Ann Richards, no doubt. Death only affected Cheney's aim.

Southern Beale said...

On the McCain side of the fence, Bill Kristol suggested Clarence Thomas.



Naomi Campbell: She knows how to kick ass.