Wednesday, May 21, 2008

You Heard It Here First!

Lately people have been discussing whom Obama will pick as his running mate. One thing is certain: with the Democrats' Senate majority so thin, no way will Obama pick a sitting senator. Do the math. So who does that leave?

The Short List

Wesley Clark
pros - military dood helps neutralize the 'security gap.'
cons - creepy smile on tv, won't necessary deliver a state

Barbara Boxer
pros - actual San Francisco liberal makes Obama look mainstream
cons - actual San Francisco liberal makes Obama look mainstream

Al Gore
pros - Nobel laureate, Oscar™, years of experience
cons - difficult to convince to run for thankless job

Madeline Albright
pros - beloved Clinton era figure whose initials aren't HRC
cons - born in Prague. Crypto Jew. Almost as old as McCain

Ann Richards
pros - neutralizes gender gap, might carry Texas
cons - died two years ago

Charlie Rangel
pros - decades of experience, Korean War Hero neutralizes McCain advantage
cons - two black guys on one ticket?

Tammy Baldwin
pros - voted against Iraq war, voted to impeach Cheney
cons - gaii

Now that I have exhausted all the options, I am ready to announce the winner. Your next vice president will be:

Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius!!
She will completely neutralize the disgruntled Hillary Clinton voting bloc! Time Magazine named her one of the top 5 governors! She's a Catholic from the middle of the country! I, for one, welcome our new Sebelian overlordess!

7 comments:

notwatchingtelevision said...

I want him to choose Bill Bradley: brilliant; knows how Washington works and has been pointing out how broken the system is for some time; endorsed Obama early; understands the benefits of teamwork, which an Obama administration is going to need if real change is going to come; a Boomer sports hero who can be a great spokesman for the important teamship roles that will be required of the citizenry; plus we could have photo ops of b-ball pick up games instead of all those golf course shots for a change.
Sparkle Plenty
.

r@d@r said...

barbara boxer is a liberal?

Anonymous said...

Is death really a "con" for this office?

Anonymous said...

One word: Oprah

mdhatter said...

Ann Richards, no doubt. Death only affected Cheney's aim.

Southern Beale said...

On the McCain side of the fence, Bill Kristol suggested Clarence Thomas.

LOL LOL

ECOPHOTOS said...

Naomi Campbell: She knows how to kick ass.